If you’ve ever found yourself searching for the “best diet for fast weight loss” online while simultaneously hiding a [insert any food name here] wrapper in the trash...you’re not alone. So many of us have been stuck in that exhausting cycle: trying to “be good,” falling off track, and promising to start again Monday. That, right there, is the diet mentality. And it’s the first thing we work to let go of when beginning the journey of Intuitive Eating.
So, what is the diet mentality?
It’s the set of beliefs that tell us:
- Certain bodies are more valuable than others.
- Our worth is tied to our weight or what we eat.
- We can “control” our bodies if we just try harder.
- We must always strive to eat perfectly (whatever perfect means with the newest diet fad).
The diet mentality finds its way into everyday life, sometimes in really sneaky ways. For example:
- Feeling guilty for eating a certain food, type of food, or food group. This could look like: feeling guilty for eating bread with dinner.
- Skipping a meal to "make up" for something else you ate, or "save up" for eating in the future. Maybe you considered skipping lunch today because of what you ate last night or because you didn’t do a workout.
- Judging yourself and others for food choices. Maybe last time you got fast food, you judged yourself for getting a side of fries.
- Saying, “I’ve been so bad today,” when thinking about the food you’ve eaten.
- Ordering something off the menu because you think you should, rather than what really sounds tasty and satisfying.
Even if you’re not on a formal diet, this mindset can still have a powerful grip.
Why is this a problem?
Because dieting (including, but not limited to, the constant pursuit of thinness) disconnects you from your body. It teaches you to ignore hunger, deny satisfaction, and mistrust your natural cues. It can lead to binge eating, obsessing over food, and feeling like a failure (when really, it’s the diet that failed you!) Again. And again. And again. Rejecting the diet mentality is about stepping off that rollercoaster for good.
Okay, so how do I start rejecting it?
Here are some gentle, doable ways to begin:
- Call it out when you recognize it. Start noticing where the diet mentality shows up. Maybe it’s in your inner voice (“You can’t eat that”), a social media post, or a friend talking about their latest cleanse. Awareness is the first step.
- Reframe the guilt. When that guilt creeps in after eating something “bad” or “unhealthy”: pause. Ask: Did I do something wrong, or did I just eat a food my body wanted? Spoiler: You did nothing wrong. Reframe those thoughts with something more positive. Try “All foods fit in balanced eating” or maybe “foods are not good or bad. They’re just food.”
- Clear the clutter. Unfollow diet-y accounts. Toss the old diet fad books and low-fat or low-carb cookbooks. If you’re tracking food or weight, ask yourself if it’s helping or hurting your relationship with food and your body. Sometimes those tools feel beneficial or rewarding, but what they really teach you to ignore your body’s natural hunger signals so that you can reach your “goal numbers”, either on the scale or whatever has been calculated to be your “perfect calorie amount”.
- Reflect on your history. Take a moment to think back. How many diets have you tried? Did they lead to long-term peace with food and body? Did those diets help you permanently reach your health goal, or was it only a temporary fix (or maybe they didn’t help at all!)? This can be a powerful reminder of why you're choosing a new path.
Give yourself permission. You don’t need to earn your food. You don’t need to punish yourself for eating. All foods can fit. The more permission you give, the less food controls you.
What Comes Next? Challenging the “Food Police”
Once you start recognizing the diet mentality, you’ll also begin to notice the “food police” showing up. They might sound like that inner voice that says “you shouldn’t eat that” or “you’ve had enough,” even if you’re still hungry. Sometimes they speak through external voices too: a co-worker making comments about “being bad” for having dessert, or a fitness influencer labeling foods as clean or toxic or junk.
These voices aren’t based in truth. They're learned rules reinforced by years of dieting messages. And they’re not helping you meet your health goals.
Challenging the food police means:
- Calling out those judgmental thoughts as they pop up (whether in your head or from others) and actively choosing not to follow their lead.
- Replacing the harsh, rule-based thinking with more neutral or compassionate self-talk. Instead of “I shouldn’t have eaten that,” try “I honored what sounded good in the moment.”
- Noticing when food becomes moralized, like saying something is a “cheat” or you “earned it” and remembering: food is not a reward or punishment. It’s nourishment, pleasure, connection, energy… sometimes all at once.
The more you challenge these internal and external voices, the quieter they get. But sometimes it takes time to notice. This isn’t about being defiant or rebellious. It’s about reclaiming your autonomy. You get to be the one who decides what feels good, satisfying, and supportive for your body, not the food rules you've absorbed over time.
Important Reminders!
Rejecting the diet mentality isn’t about “giving up” or “letting yourself go.” It’s about reconnecting with your body’s natural signals and learning to trust it again, even if that feels scary at first. These principles lay the foundation for the entire Intuitive Eating journey. No more food rules. No more guilt. Just a growing sense of trust, respect, and freedom for yourself.
You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Start with curiosity. Be kind to yourself. And remember: there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s diet culture that needs to go.